


Hold on Tight, Never Let Go

by Alys_Brauer



Series: McSpirk Prompt Fills [4]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Head trauma, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, death mentioned, mckspirk, prompt fills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 02:12:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8559352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alys_Brauer/pseuds/Alys_Brauer
Summary: This is a prompt fill for my tumblr account mckirkishPrompt: McSpirk + hurt/comfort (specifically Bones being hurt)





	

_It’s not the pain that gets him, though Lord knows there’s enough of that, it’s the lack of anything else. He can’t feel the ground beneath him, or the cool touch of the rain he’d been in moments before. He can’t smell the wet earth, or the crushed vegetation from their passing. He can’t hear Jim nattering on about how things could be worse, or Spock’s calm reassurances that the storm will pass soon and then they’ll be able to contact the Enterprise._

_The silence is what gets to him; it’s what starts the rise of fear so intense it momentarily washes out the pain._

_He’s dying._

_Leonard’s never given much thought to what dying might feel like. Honestly, he’s always so busy pulling everyone he loves back from the brink of death, or hauling them right back through death’s door, that he hasn’t had time to think about the possibility of his own._

_Maybe, if he’d had the time, he would have thought it might be something like this._

_Pain rips through him when he tries to open his eyes. He wants to see Jim and Spock one last time, wants to be able to say goodbye. The pain spikes again, sharp and white hot, tearing him slowly to shreds. If he could hear, Leonard is sure he’d hear himself screaming._

_“_ Be calm, _ashayam,”_ _Spock’s voice comes from everywhere, and nowhere. With it comes a sense of calm, and a distance between him and the pain._

“Spock?” _Fear returns, and desperation with it. He has something to hold on to now, something besides the pain and darkness. He doesn’t want to die. He’s not ready to die. He can’t stand the thought of leaving Jim and Spock alone._

“We will not let you die.” _The words/thoughts/feelings are so strong, Leonard can almost feel the ground beneath him again._

_There!_

_The darkness gives way to a bright spark of red, and Leonard finally realizes that they must be in his mind; he’s unconscious._

“I’m dying,” _he says softly. Even as he says the words, he knows they’re true. He can feel an answering hum from Spock, and gets a brief, bright flash from his mind._

An unnatural crack when his head hit the tree he’d been thrown into (fractured skull his medical training supplies). Leonard dropping with another sickening snap as all his weight lands on his arm at an awkward angle (compound fracture). A shout of dismay, of anger. Jim at his side trying to stop the bleed from a wound in his side, as well as the slow seep from the crack in his skull –

_Spock cuts it off. His essence wraps around Leonard, trying to shield him from a reality he already knows._

“I’m going to die before the  _Enterprise_  can find us.”

_Denial hits him so hard that if he’d had any breath in his current state, he’d be gasping._

_It all comes in a rush; words, impressions, feelings. Knowledge not his own floods into his already fragile mind and forces him to focus, to fight._

_Not allowed. Not allow to die. Not allowed to leave them._

_The bit of him that is Spock flashes brightly in Leonard’s mind. Spock will save Leonard, there’s no other option. The conviction in Spock’s thoughts strengthens Leonard’s resolve, and Spock reaches for him. Reaches for the core of him, all that is essential to making him Leonard Horatio ‘Bones’ McCoy._

Katra _,_ _the Spock part of him supplies. That’s what he’s trying to find, even if the term doesn’t apply to humans._

_Even as Spock gathers the pieces of Leonard, Leonard can sense the darkness approaching him again. The pain still tears him to pieces despite the impression of distance. Those little pieces, one by one, start to slip from Spock’s desperate, clutching, grasp._

_“I’m losing him, Jim.”_

_Leonard wishes he’d had a chance to say goodbye to Jim too; to apologize for leaving him behind, just another on his long list._

“Sorry,” _he whispers to the dark, and he just hopes that there’s enough of him left for Spock to hear, and convey it to Jim as well._ “I love you.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I’m losing him, Jim.” Spock’s voice is almost too soft to hear.

Jim wants to scream. He wants to throw something! He wants to bring that thing back to life so he can kill it again for what it did to Bones.

Even in the rain Jim can see the sweat beading on Spock’s forehead, the frown of pure concentration, the way his hands shake where they’re pressed against Bones’ face. They’re both pale, his Bones and his Spock, for different reasons, but it’s like watching them both fade in front of his eyes.

And what’s he doing? Jim is just here, feeling useless, trying to stop anymore of Bones’ blood from seeping through his fingers.

It’s not working too well.

“Hold on. Come on. Hold on for me, both of you. Come on Bones, don’t you leave me. You promised you’d never leave me,” Jim whispers desperately, his own hands starting to shake as the weight of Spock’s words truly sinks in. “I’d don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He looks to Spock, but Spock’s eyes are still closed in concentration, and he’s fighting, fighting desperately to hold onto Bones’ mind, to hold onto Bones so he doesn’t slip away before help arrives.

“Dammit!” Jim shouts, he screams at the sky. He needs a doctor, he needs Bones! But all he’s got is himself, and Spock, who’s clearly losing the battle.

Sheer desperation makes him flip open his communicator. The storm down here is just a reflection of the ion storm in the atmosphere that’s been preventing them from getting back to the Enterprise. But Jim can’t just watch anymore. There’s always a small chance-

“Kirk to Enterprise.”

“Ach! There ye are captain.”

“Scotty! Beam us up! Beam us straight to medical. Now!”

“Jim, I cannot…he is…”

Swirls of light surround them as they’re beamed back at last. Jim just hopes it’s in time.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

He refuses to let go. Even as they’re beamed to medical, even as Nurse Chapel and Doctor M’Benga take control, Spock refuses to sever all contact with Leonard’s mind. Leonard’s precious mind that keeps slipping in and out of his grasp. Every time he thinks he has him, has Leonard’s  _katra_  safe in his gasp, another piece slips away.

Spock can’t feel Leonard’s presence in his mind anymore, but he refuses to give up.

Human’s don’t have _katra_ ’s. He must be more affected by humans that he thought, because Spock completely ignores this piece of logic, this truth, he refuses to accept it.

Jim’s influence no doubt.

He’s not sure how much time passes. He’s too busy focusing every ounce of his strength on holding onto Leonard, on not letting him slip completely away.

He won’t let Leonard leave them, not when they’ve finally all found each other.

“Spock,” Jim’s voice comes from somewhere beside him, and Spock’s frown deepens.

He can’t afford to be distracted right now.

“Spock! Come on, come back to me, don’t you leave me too.”

That shakes his concentration.

Spock’s eyes shoot open, and he finds himself seated beside a bio-bed. Leonard is pale, but no longer bleeding, and the monitors seem to indicate that he’s out of physical danger at least.

“There you are.” The relief in Jim’s voice sends a stab of guilt through Spock.

“I am sorry, Jim. I did not mean to frighten you.”

“No, no. It’s all right. I know you were…is he-?”

He knows there is no shame in not knowing an answer, but in this case, Spock wishes he had something to give to Jim. Some scrap of hope for him, for them both, to hold on to. “I…do not know.”

Jim crumbles into the chair beside Spock, and reaches shakily for Leonard, grasping his hand desperately. “He has to be okay. We got him here…we got him here in time.”

Spock does not point out that although Leonard’s physical wounds have been mostly healed, the potential long lasting damage to his mind because of that skull fracture is still very high. And…he’d felt Leonard slipping away from him.

“Come with me,” Spock says softly, then nods to the too still form of Leonard. “Our minds, together as one. We will find him.”

Jim nods in understanding, and moves closer so that Spock can put a hand on both of them, Jim and Leonard.

They dive into Leonard’s mind. Jim is bright and yellow, blazing like the sun, lighting the darkness that has enveloped their doctor.

_“Leonard.”_

_“Bones.”_

They call at the same time, both of their presences filling the dark space, pushing it back, forcing it to relinquish its hold on what is theirs.

There’s a small flicker.

“Bones!”

“ _Ashayam_.”

They summon him again, and the flicker gets stronger. Spock pours his strength toward that flicker, and Jim follows his example. There’s no words needed here. They all know each other’s thoughts, they all feel each other’s emotions. They all sense each other’s fears.

_“Spock. Jim.”_

Leonard’s essence flares to life, and suddenly Spock finds himself back in medical, his strength nearly depleted. But when he opens his eyes, he finds Leonard staring up at him.

“Bones! You’re all right! I knew you would be! I just knew it!” The tears on Jim’s face give lie to his words, but neither Spock nor Leonard points them out.

Jim climbs onto the bed first, laying out along one side of Leonard and presses his hand over Leonard’s heart, as if the bio-bed indications were not enough, as if only the feeling of Leonard’s heart against his hand would reassure him that Leonard was still with them.

It’s a sentiment Spock can easily understand.

He climbs up on the other side of Leonard, and rests two fingers lightly on the pulse point at his wrist, reassuring himself of what he already knows.

“You came back.”

“Yeah well, someone has to keep your sorry asses out of the fire.”

“Love you too, Bones.”


End file.
